Yesterday, I made last minute decision to go to The University Singers and UVA Chamber Singers concert, "An Evening of Love Song," despite the amount of work I had. The decision was not wrong. Ich grolle nicht.
They sang a piece by Eric Whitacre set to an Octavio Paz poem called "A Boy and a Girl," which I thought was incomparably beautiful. I hadn't known the composer before; I might check out a recording or two.
I've attended many concerts here in Charlottesville, always alone. I wonder how it might be like to go to a concert with someone else. How nice would it be, I think for a moment, but then I think: nah, not really, and besides, it's not possible.
* * *
I played the piano, too, first time in several weeks. Playing any instrument, for me, of course, is almost always very depressing. But I guess I just have to touch it time to time, in order to make sure that I cannot play it, to make sure I am alien to music, and music to me.
The same goes, I suppose, for life. Living, I recognize how unfit I am for life. The difference is that I can't quit living so easily.
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End-of-the-year business--moving out, packing, and flying, etc.--is incredibly irksome. It is vexing. It was probably this way last year, too, but who cares how it was last year?
This spring is like autumn. Summer is gone. Already. It's all stupid. I'm weary.
* * *
This past week I heard many people mention "foxfield." I didn't know what it was, so I googled and found out it was some kind of horse race. And I thought, "... why horse race?"
Then I happened on this "definition" on Urban Dictionary:
A horse race tradition in northern Virginia frequented especially by UVA students, as well as Georgetown and William & Mary students. Students dress in traditional spring suites and dresses and, due to large amounts of alcohol, tend to be very social.Then I understood I didn't have a thing to do with it.
* * *
Friends are a sweet thing--if only I had them!
